Uncle Bud - 2

Phase II began the week of my father's passing. Bud was 87 then. My Dad died a few months before his 79th birthday. When I spoke Bud by phone he said, "I really want to be there." I heard strong determination in his voice and what I interpreted as his intention to honor the memory of his brother, John, by being present for the memorial. Bud considered flying but has always loved cars and driving. He drove his Chevy Impala the 1100 miles from Pennsylvania to Florida. Armed with GPS on his dashboard and operating at least 2 ham radios for the trip he drove down with just one overnight stay. Bud's wife, Mary, had passed about 2 years before and his wife's sister, Jean, came as his travel companion. His son and sister were really angry with his decision, describing him with words like 'crazy old man'. He arrived safely in Florida and was part of the family remembrance and celebration.

Photo - From Left to Right- Dad , Bud, Mary's sister Jean

We comforted each other. As brothers, they are not that similar in physical appearance or demeanor. They are different builds- My Dad being taller and perhaps leaner and Bud shorter and rounder in the waist. But I recognize from pictures of both of them that they have the family features of my grandfather, the same nose and matching facial lines around their chin along with fine white hair of experience and wisdom.

I started to spend more time with Bud that year. We went from seeing each other every few years to 2 or 3 times a year. In the months after March 05 I drove the 2 hours to Bud's house a few times. Always a collector- electronics, old oscilloscopes, guns, tools and shell reloading apparatus, his ham radio shack and his basement are like a museum. Today it's hard for him to type or do too much with fine motor movement with his hands so the workshop. At almost 91 he reads all email but just doesn't reply.

I think our first life discussion was at the back of the church while getting ready for my father's memorial service. Bud explained the places where he and Dad grew up in Philadelphia and what it was like for my dad growing up after his mother passed. A few months later I went to the church where Dad was baptized Schwenckfelder Church (now part of United Church of Christ) found his baptismal record and visited my grandfather's homes where he grew up. Then I did the ancestry.com search and along with my Aunt Gertrude uncovered some family history of people and geography and our connection to German electro-mechanical heritage. Touring through Germany in 2005 I could see the similarities between Bavaria and Pennsylvania and why so many Germans migrated to Pennsylvania.

Over the past four years Bud has been a part of many family celebrations. We spent an Easter dinner together. He surprised me once and attended the installation service marking the start of my Ministry. Two years later we went to watch Tim play ball on a summer college league at nearby Quakertown. One time I stayed overnight at his house. And the next day we got up, went for breakfast and he came to my Sunday talk at the nearby Spiritual Center. Each trip we always find a place to go for dinner. That night we sat outdoors on his porch well past sunset and talked and talked. Every time we get together I listen to the stories about his youth, family, the 'old man'- my grandfather and my dad- 'Johnny'. We share work experiences, talk about investments, life, living and our mortality.

It's been a year since I visited Bud. He's been experiencing a tired heart. We've talked on the phone but last week was my first face to face since he moved from his home into the assisted living center. His family and granddaughters look out for him. He still has his car but doesn't drive much. He's a little unsteady on his feet but claims that when he gets behind the wheel things come completely to focus. I believe him.
In his room is a big screen flat screen, a bed and couple of well stuffed chairs. Two PCs are open on a table. And the biggest thing in his room is his 8 foot wooden workbench full of radios and antennas. We celebrated our visit by having dinner out. The restaurant was almost full and the high volume of the traveling softball team overdrove his hearing aid so we covered fewer topics than usual and focused on our prime rib. His mind works well. I drove the 115 miles back home completely satisfied and enriched feeling grateful for the day, connected to my family and our heritage; connected to the blessing of life itself.