Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Gratitude- A Way Forward

I'm teaching a class for new students on the philosophy of greater living. One of the things we talked about was using journaling as a way to raise the student's personal awareness of different situations. One section suggests journaling about gratitude.

So I am grateful for having participated in the family event for my Uncle. And I'm grateful for all the ways that he helped me understand my Dad, his brother. It's not that I understand my father so much more, it is really that I have come to a peaceful perspective. I have come into balance and walk with greater insight. I am ready to move forward. Thank you for your gifts. I am grateful. And So It Is.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Transformation

Tomorrow I'm attending the Memorial service for my father's brother, Bud.  Bud passed from this Earth about a month ago. He was nearly 92 and lived to be the oldest of any of our known male family members.

Bud and I became closer after my father made his transition at age 78, about five years ago.  Dad was 8 years younger than his brother. Eight years is not a large age difference but by the time their mother died, my Dad was 6 and Bud was 14. They had two different experiences growing up.

Some people comment how Bud and John were so different. Bud would always speak his mind and could be offensive and self-occupied as he worked on his hobbies and job. He shared his opinions and judgments with all who would listen. My Dad (John) always displayed kindness to strangers, but he carried an intense drive and inherent anger. So they were different- one letting anger out, the other putting it deep inside.  And they were similar also. Both went through heart surgery, a product of their time and their deep enjoyment of all beef products.  Both men were technical and self- schooled engineers in both mechanics and electronics. They were also both HAM radio operators, K3IUZ and W3GOS. Both loved to study and figure things out. Both followed a tradition of their job being their life and both provided for their families through their work and life decisions.

And what strikes me is that both brothers experienced a transformation in their thinking during the last ten years of their lives. When Bud's wife Mary passed early in the decade, he experienced great grief. He missed Mary and was sad about the prioritization and decisions with his partner in their sixty plus years of marriage. It was in that time that he experienced a transformation of thought, a mellowing and a greater connection to life and family. His heart softened. I am grateful to have experienced this. For his brother, John, the transformation came during his recovery after a stroke. John transformed from the angry man to the more care free, story telling and loving man. I am grateful to have experienced this.

In the Bible, Acts 9:10-22 Saul was a zealous man who really disliked Christians. Traveling on the roadside a light appeared to Saul and he was blinded.  Jesus sent Ananias to lay hands on Saul and he regained his sight.  It was after that event that Saul transformed began proclaiming "He is the son of God"  Saul became Paul and used his zeal to evangelize the word to Rome and even further west.

So my message tomorrow is on how we live in relation to each other. These men, raised by my Grandfather, Wilbert, and who went on to lead successful lives lived their best. No matter what has happened up to this day let us live in relation to each other with celebration of the transformed consciousness. Let the love that these men found and professed in their last days be ours today, tomorrow and beyond.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Bud and F-A-I-T-H

My father's elder brother, Wilbert Charles "Bud", made his transition last Friday at the age of 91. While he has always been my uncle I had the privilege to visit, speak and share dinners with him more frequently over the past five years. Here is a re-post of his thoughts on faith. More posts to come on this man and our family.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Father's Day Gift

This year for Father's Day my sons took me to see a Yankee game. July 1 was my first trip to the year old new stadium and with clear skies, breezes from the northwest and 78 degrees the day was beautiful. Joan, Ted, Tim and I attended.  The Yankees played the Seattle Mariners- CC Sabathia pitched and led with a 2-0 lead until the 8th inning when Seattle tied it up. In the bottom of the 8th A-Rod launched a home run to right field to give the Yankees a 4-2 lead. All they had to do was get three outs in the top of the 9th.  In came Mariano Rivera, the closer.  Mariano, 40, is still considered the best closer and delivers fast balls at 90+ mph. His 'cutter' appears as a fast ball as it approaches the batter, but then...it explodes and cuts down and in to a left hander (down and away for a right hander).  He gets batters out with either a strike out or a ground ball.

As the father of pitchers and players you gain an appreciation for the physical and mental aspects of delivering the ball across the plate in a sequence of speed and location that keeps the batter's swing timing subject to uncertainty. We got to see Mariano do his genius as he retired the 3 batters in the 9th and then this weekend he is the subject of the feature article Mariano Rivera, King of the Closers in The New York Times Magazine.  It is a great article about his mental attitude and performance as a pitcher and don't miss the video that explains how the ball moves as it leaves his hand and moves toward the batter.

Ted has a great skill in organizing. I think he learned it from a) his German heritage and b) his training as an Eagle Scout and c) as a teacher. So this trip came about with Ted's clarity and skill in getting tickets and having us all ready and out the door on time. He orchestrated a great day.  We have begun a new tradition. Now if he can only help us get there and back without traffic.

Friday, June 18, 2010

SDV's, Guacamole and Peach/Mango Salsa

We live in a creative and discerning household and one thing we've learned is the wonder of the SDV. Salt Delivery Vehicles (SDVs) add to the contrast of food tastes and are characterized by two major players- potato chips and tortilla chips. In Lays or Herr's Wavy potato chips (not Wise Ridges), there is a wider periodicity ruffle and they are more crisp than a non-wave chip. Just put a chip into your mouth and let the salt dissolve. The other SDV of equal wonder is corn tortilla chips. My favorite are Eden Garden Brand. However, Snyders or another brand are also good. Baked chips typically don't do it but you be the judge.

SDVs need accessories- like freshly made guacamole or a salsa. If you're new to the spiritual view of Guacamole as life, you can try out fresh guacamole made commercially at the South of the Border chain. Look for hand made and not whipped or blended. South of the Border makes the guacamole table side where you can watch and direct the correct amount of the ingredient mix. They tend to be gentle in their preparation- not too spicy or salty as they don't want to have you turn away from what you ordered. Another way to do guacamole is to use a pre-mix spice package and just add avocados.  And to have maximum freedom in taste adjustment make your own. Tim, Ted and Zach all cook at our house. Tim has been the lead in guacamole mixing and flavoring techniques.

There are two benefits of making your G/S. First, making it yourself lets you select the freshest ingredients and raw flavors.  Second, by making the dish yourself you have total control of the flavor by selecting how much of each material you put in. 

GUACAMOLE (based on Tim's works) Ingredients, Cutting and Initial Mixing Instructions
Tools: 
Cutting/chopping knife, cutting board, dinner fork, table spoon, mixing bowl about two times the size of the final serving bowl.
Ingredients:
SDV's - 1 lb bag of Eden Garden or other corn tortilla chips
4 avocados- (grow or reduce the recipe 2 avocados at a time). Select avocados so they are slightly but noticeably movable by your hand squeeze. Cut the avocados and remove the pit. Spoon out the green/yellow pulp into the mixing bowl.
Prepare the other ingredients
1 Fresh tomato (not too ripe)- chopped about 1/4 inch cubes, use 1/2 of a 3 inch tomato.
2 Jalapeno Peppers-cut in circles so they look like wagon wheels. Chop smaller. The more seeds you leave the hotter the flavor.  Begin with 1 pepper. Save 2nd for adding flavor (see tuning directions below)
Cilantro- about 30 stems- cut with scissors or chop with knife so leaves are about 1/3 of their original size
Sea Salt- start with a tablespoon. (see tuning directions below)
1 White or Red Onion about 3 inch diameter- select the zing in the onion to your personal taste. Chop 1/2 of the onion.
1 lime
Mix the ingredients.
Use fork and spoon to break up the avocado. Mix until there are still a few chunks left. Do not overmix or whip- keep some coarseness to the texture. Texture aids scoopability.
Add Lime juice- a light squeeze of 1/2 a lime
Refrigerate and let flavors mingle:
The onion, cilantro salt and jalapeno need about 1/2 - 2 hours to mix in the refrigerator
Tuning Directions:
Taste test and add more sea salt to personal taste.
Not hot enough? add jalapeno and onion a table spoon at a time to get to your personal liking.
Consider an experiment and divide your batch into two parts- one mixed with low spice and the other high spice- see which you like better.
Leftovers?
Use a plastic wrapand press it down against the guacamole- this and the lime juice keep it alive for later in the day or overnight. Avocados turn brown in the air.

PEACH AND MANGO SALSA
(make both guacamole and salsa- many of the same materials are used)
Joan made this last week with great results. We used the same SDV's as for Guacamole
The delicate flavors of mangoes and peaches combine with onions and garlic in this sweet-and-savory salsa recipe. Try it with chips for a light snack on a hot summer night, or add to a vegetable burrito for an unusual twist. (from a newsletter we received)
Ingredients:
2 mangoes, peeled and chopped
2 fresh peaches, peeled and chopped
1 sweet onion, diced
1 medium tomato, diced (optional)
2 cloves garlic
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
dash sea salt and pepper to taste
Directions:
Combine all ingredients in a bowl. Dice and chop- no blenders.
Chill:
Chill for at least one hour, to allow flavors to combine, and stir well before serving.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Wind Wave Chimes Ring Freely

Every trip I make to Florida includes a segment of remembrance for my dad, and his influence in my life. JCH is buried in the Veteran's area of a cemetery in Stuart, Florida, a nice resting place, albeit in a hot zone and  two miles inland. Last year while visiting his gave site I was impressed with the five years of growth of the thin sprig planted next to his flat headstone that has now grown to a lichen rich full shade tree. At the cemetery people place wind chimes in the trees as a peaceful remembrance of their family members. But in the hot and moist Florida Treasure Coast climate the string ages and rots and the chimes fall to the ground. With this last chime crash my mom and I began a search for a new wind chime. We checked four different stores and finally gave up--- no chimes in the winter but the idea stayed with me.

When we leave this life what happens to us? Our life less body remains but what happens to our essence, our soul? The question is ours to ponder and to speculate upon. We listen to those who think they have an idea, who formulate and propagate a scenario. It could be so. We all face this event and yet we know nothing for sure- it's a mystery that we live with. I'm ok with the uncertainty as I know the Universe only has good in mind.

Last week when I spent time in my father's garage I was in a communion with him. The tools he used, the things we worked on together, perspectives and skills he taught me, my observations on his aging, his passions, obsessions both joyful and unpleasant are my bread and wine all contained in the covenant of our continued connection. It is that same connection as he had with his father and father's father before him and as I have with my sons today. And so invoking my creative nature, I continued with the idea of creating a new wind chime.

The garage smells of musty old tools, metal and wire that has oxidized in the humid air. Wooden tool boxes I made as a teen hold the tools and now they look back at me, waiting to be called back into action. I drew the new design for a wind chime on my sketch pad and began to look for materials symbolizing sailing- small sailing line designed to be low stretch and made of the best synthetic materials, sea friendly teak wood to hold the chimes. The last unknowns were the chimes. What about the chimes? How to make them? How do they fit and how do they sound when hanging and clanging together?

My father had many hobbies and as my mom told me last week, "Your father always got everything he wanted." It was through his hobbies that he learned and created and explored. So in his 30's amateur radio was his interest. Using his FCC call sign, K3IUZ, he was passionate about radio, electronics and electromagnetic waves through out his life. In his mid 40's sailing became his joy. Owning five different boats they sailed first in lakes and later grew into ocean sailing. Mom and Dad cruised the Northeast, the East Coast and both coasts of Florida in their 30 foot C&C, 'Misty.' 

To get a signal out...or to bring one in, you need an antenna and not just any piece of wire; it needs to be  tuned to transmit or receive a specific frequency. The garage has remnants of antenna projects that remind me of software projects I have been involved with. In software (in this case the antenna) a section of code that was perfectly clear to the developer becomes difficult to reuse or modify after the developer has left the project...unless there is some form of documentation. No one knows exactly what Dad was thinking on his antennas. My investigation into a cardboard tube stuffed in the back of the garage led to the perfect chime. Several 3/8 inch tubes, made of brass and aluminum no longer functioned as antenna and I transformed them into chimes. I made eight tubes ranging  between 6 and13 inches long. To symbolically link the wind and waves together I painted the metal a dark blue, the color of 'Misty' and hung them with the marine grade line.

Next came putting it all together. Tim, home in NJ, became my coach, sending pictures of a much larger chime hanging there in a tree which served as my reference design. I began the project in mind a year ago and building and assembling it took parts of three days. I cut, sanded, drilled, filed, fitted, assembled, listened and adjusted several times. The garage temperature was 80's at night and mid 90's in the day and you can guess the humidity in Florida during June. The chime gong is a 2 inch stainless steel ring and a weight below it swings in the breeze and initiates metal to metal contact at the first signs of a breeze. The sound tone works perfectly and the sound reminds me of a boatyard with halyards clanging on a mast as the wind blows.

Mom and I drove to the cemetery and hung the wind chime in the tree, ready to relax its taut sailing cord in the daily temperature swings and ready to freely ring. I know there is no need to comfort my father. He is not here. But for those remaining, this chime is a symbolic reminder of experiences we shared and a way to honor one man's life. It is a form of grief relief and just one more pathway of free living today.